Last night’s dream was long and weird and fragmented and I only remember bits and pieces. I’ll do my best to recount it.
I was driving in a torrential downpour. As I approached my house, I saw that the street had been roped off. Apparently, someone had been doing roadwork before the storm started but now the bulldozers had been abandoned and the street was all torn up and flooded. So, I had to park on a side street and then walk to my house. It was raining, I didn’t have an umbrella, and I was wearing high heels. I was soaked and not in a good mood by the time I reached my house.
I went in the house, wet and shivering. As soon as I stepped into my living room, I stripped down to my underwear so that I could dry my clothes. Of course, as soon as I did that, I heard people walking around in the house and I realized that I was not alone. So, I decided to duck into the backyard — and yes, it was still raining — and wait for them to leave.
(Dream logic, I can’t explain it.)
So, I’m in the backyard, in my underwear, getting even more soaked. I remembered that I had my kimono in the little building that I use as my home office so I ran over to the building. Unfortunately, it was locked and I realized that the keys were back in my car. So, I walked back around to the front yard and, carrying my clothes with me, I walked through the rain to my car. And, fortunately, the keys to the little building were sitting in the glove compartment. I then ran back to my house, ducked into the back yard, unlocked my little building, and grabbed my dragon kimono.
Putting on the kimono, I ducked into the garage and I put my soaked clothes into a dryer. Then, I reentered the house and I saw that my father’s new wife (who I guess is technically my stepmother, though I don’t think of her like that) was in the den and she was rearranging all of my movies. I ran into the den and I yelled at her to stop.
“I don’t like these,” she said, motioning at a shelf of horror movies.
“They’re mine!” I said, “I paid money for these!”
My Dad came into the den to see what all the yelling was about. I got upset because he wouldn’t tell his wife to stop moving around my stuff. Finally I said, “Fine, but you’ll never see me again!” And then I went back outside, in the rain.
My Dad and his wife came outside and said that they couldn’t believe I was getting so upset. “Why was she moving my stuff!?” I demanded.
“I didn’t,” she said, “Other people must have done that.”
Annoyed, I turned back to the house and stepped through the front door.
Suddenly, I was in a convention hall. It was very crowded. I was still wearing my kimono but my hair was now dry. I saw my former Congressman giving a speech at the front of the hall and I realized that I was at a Republican Convention. I was excited to see all of the politicians and minor celebrities but it wasn’t easy because the place was so crowded and my asthma was acting up.
Finally, I decided to head to the back of the convention hall, which was a bit less crowded. While I could breathe easier in the back of the hall, I also couldn’t hear any of the speakers, though I could still see them. An old woman in a wheelchair thanked me for coming to the back of the hall and supporting the older delegates. I realized that everyone around me was elderly and using either a wheel chair or a cane. I told them that I was happy to support them because I had injured my ankle so many times that I was probably just a few years away from being crippled by arthritis. An old man asked me if I was a dancer and said, “Look at those fantastic gams!” while staring at my legs.
Stepping out of the convention hall, I discovered that it was night and I was in a European city that had a canal. I walked around a bit. It was cold and, as pretty as the city was, I started to worry because I really wasn’t sure where I was. Suddenly, my sister Megan and her husband walked up to me and said, “Where have you been!? We’ve been looking everywhere!” I started to argue with Megan and my brother-in-law tried to ease the tension by talking about playing college football.
I went with my sister and her husband to a hotel. There was a film festival in town and I suddenly understood that was why I was in the city. As I stepped into the hotel, I saw a woman sitting in the lobby. I immediately recognized her as someone who had starred in several Italian horror films. I told her that I was a huge fan. She suddenly started talking about how she had been born to gypsies in Romania and that, while growing up, her closest friend had been a fortune teller who become the lover of the crown prince of Luxembourg. I told her that she should turn the story into a movie and that I would write the script and serve as her agent. I also said that the story should be set during the French Revolution and I realized that there was a television in the lobby that was already showing scenes of the actress in a film about the French Revolution that I had previously written.
“My friend could read the cards….” the actress started.
Suddenly, a thin blonde woman wearing a black dress ran up and yelled, “That’s a lie! My mother told the future with the weather!”
And then I woke up.