Last Night’s Weird Dream About The Neighbor On An Elephant

Last night, I dreamt that I woke up, got out of bed, and looked out the bedroom window.  I saw that my neighbor across the street had a totaled car sitting in her driveway.  Her son was walking in circles around the car while talking on his phone.  I watched him for a little while and then I got back in bed and closed my eyes, intending to return to sleep.

That’s when I heard the doorbell ring.

I sat up in bed and wondered if I should answer it.  As I sat there arguing with myself, I heard the doorbell ring again.  Finally, cursing softly, I got out of bed, threw on a robe, and went downstairs.

When I opened the door, I discovered that there was a rotund, balding man with a pencil-thin mustache standing on my porch.  He appeared to be in his early 30s and his eyes were emotionless.

“Hello,” he said in a flat tone of voice, “I just moved in down the street.”

As he spoke, I noticed that there was an elephant sitting on the sidewalk.

“That’s my elephant,” the man said.

“Okay,” I nodded.

The man walked over to the elephant and, for some reason, I followed.  The elephant knelt down and allowed us to climb on top of him.

Once we were sitting on the elephant, the man explained that he had only recently returned home from serving overseas.  He also asked if I knew what PTSD was.  I nodded and told him that I knew what it was.  I also added, “That’s why we didn’t set off any firecrackers this July.”

The man said, “Thank you for that.  Where I was overseas, it often got very cold.  It gets cold in my house sometimes and it triggers me.  If you hear me screaming in the middle of the night, do not call the police.”

I nodded. “I won’t.”

Then, I hopped off the elephant and waved goodbye to my new neighbor as he and the elephant moved further down the street.  Across the street, my other neighbor’s son said, “Hey, that’s the elephant that stepped on our car!”

Suddenly, I heard someone from inside my house crying out, “Lisa Marie!”

And that’s when I woke up.


Last Night’s Canadian Dream

Last night, I had a dream about which I can remember only a few fragments.

In the dream, I was a PR executive.  My latest client was a man who wanted to run for Prime Minister of Canada.  (The man was not anyone that I know of in real life.  Apparently, he’s just someone my dream invented.)  I was meeting with the man in a hotel room.  He was working on what he wanted to see in his candidacy announcement and I gave him some generic advise.  I told him he needed to be more confident in his delivery.

“Canada wants a strong leader,” I told him.

When I woke up, he was just about to leave the room so that he could deliver his speech.

Weird dream, eh?  For the record, I’m not Canadian nor do I work in politics.  I do, however, love Degrassi.

Last Night’s Leopard Dream

It took me a while to calm down after last night’s clown nightmare.  When I did finally manage to  fall back asleep, I immediately had another dream.  Fortunately, this one didn’t involve clowns.

Instead, in this dream, I was in the living room and I watching two leopard cubs play with each other.  They were playing just like little kittens.  They chased each other around the room.  They climbed the furniture.  They had several little mock fights.  They were adorable!

I was sitting on the couch watching them and thinking about how cute they were.  Suddenly, in my dream, I realized that none of this made any sense.  Regardless of how cute they were at that moment, they were eventually going to grow up.

“Oh my God,” I said as they continued to run around the living room, “how am I going to raise two leopards?”

And that’s when I woke up.

Last Night’s Scary Clown Dream

Last night, I dreamt that I was sitting in our den, watching TV late at night.  There was a huge storm raging outside — lightning, thunder, torrential rainfall, the works.  There was a flash of lightning, followed by explosive thunder.  The house was plunged into darkness.

As the rumbling of the thunder faded away, it was replaced by a light tapping.

I looked over my shoulder, at the sliding glass door that led out to the back patio.  It was too dark for me to see anything on the patio but still, the tapping continued.

tap…. tap …. tap …. tap ….

Suddenly, there was another flash of lightning, one that illuminated the night just long enough to reveal a clown standing on the other side of the door, tapping on the glass.

At the same time that I saw the clown, I also realized that the door wasn’t locked.  I jumped up from the couch and ran over to the door but, just as I reached it, the door slid open and a white gloved hand grabbed my wrist!

And that, thankfully, is when I finally woke up.  I realize this is a pretty common nightmare and I’ve actually had several variations of this dream, though this is the first time that the intruder on the porch turned out to be a clown!  What’s strange about this dream is that, for the most part, clowns don’t even disturb me.  I’m usually the one who makes fun of my friends for being scared of them.

Before anyone asks, I did not watch It before going to bed last night.  I do have to admit, though, that the clown did bear a certain resemblance to Pennywise.

Who knows?  Maybe I was just having a bad Sims flashback….



Last Night’s Saved By The Bell Dream

Last night, I dreamed that I was a teenager in high school again.  I was at my house (and, in the dream, it was even the house where we lived when I was in high school) and all of my friends from the drama club were there.  We were talking about putting on a play that I had written.  Some of them were upset that I was not only the writer and the director but that I had given myself the lead role as well.  They kept complaining that I had given all of the good lines to myself.

“Well,” I said, “if you want a good line, write your own damn play.”

Mostly to shut them up, I then turned on the TV.  Simon Cowell appeared on the screen, singing the Saved By The Bell theme song.  However, this was the extended version of the song, which meant it had verses that we had never heard before.

At one point, Simon sang, “We all know gwam means lame/I’m saved by the bell….”

My friends and I looked at each other and said, “Gwam?”

On the TV, Simon repeated, “We all know gwam means lame/ I’m saved by the bell….”

“This is going in the play,” I said.

And that’s when I woke up.

Last Night’s Social Media Dream

Last night, I dreamt that I logged onto my twitter account and discovered that all of my followers had apparently unfollowed.  Thinking that this had to be some sort of mistake, I wrote an email to twitter support.  However, just as I was about hit send, there was a huge clasp of thunder and all the power went out in my house.  I then went to my living room window, a stared out at the front yard.  It was raining, the wind was howling, and the streets were flooded.  With each flash of lightning, I caught a glimpse of what appeared to be someone standing in the middle of the street.

And that’s when I woke up.

Last Night’s Weird Ben Affleck Related Dream

(Disclaimer: I do not know Ben Affleck.  I have never met Ben Affleck.  My commentary on the behavior of Dream Ben Affleck should not be taken as any sort of commentary on the behavior of real-life Ben Affleck)

After a month-long hiatus, I am happy to return to my online dream journal with a weird dream about Ben Affleck.

Now, as often happens with dreams, I can’t remember all of the details.  But here’s what I can tell you:

In my dream, I was once again in high school.  This is actually kind of a reoccurring theme in my dreams, though usually I find myself back in college.  What was unique this time is that I wasn’t an adult back in high school.  Instead, I was a teenager again.

My friends and I were attending some sort of weekend, educational retreat that was being held in this small town that sat high atop a snow-covered mountain.  As soon as we arrived, I noticed that Ben Affleck was following our group around.  I asked one of my friends why Ben Affleck was following us around and she said she didn’t know but that he was everyone’s friend.

Anyway, as the weekend progressed, my classmates and I went to various classes that were held across town.  Ben Affleck tagged along with us.  Then, one day, I noticed that Ben was no longer with us.  I asked where he was and I was told that Ben had been arrested for unpaid speeding tickets and was sitting in jail.  So, I called up a lawyer and I asked him if he could come to the town and get Ben out of jail.  The lawyer agreed.

My friends and I were all standing outside the police station, waiting for Ben to get out of jail.  When Ben finally exited the police station, we all cheered but Ben ignored all of us and walked away without saying a word.

“You know,” I yelled, “I got you an attorney!  A thank you would be nice!”

And that’s when I woke up.